As a first started to write this post (I know - its been a week and a half), I found a picture of a pair of dirty, worn out tennis shoes. I've been feeling that way lately. Feeling like I am exhausted, both physically and mentally; feeling like things are going on so fast around me (okay, so maybe Air Jordan's would have been better) that I couldn't get my hands or head around any of it. So many times during the past week, I've felt the gerbil on the wheel that continues to spin until his little legs give out - but only I was wearing the dirty tennis shoes.
But then I realized, I had lost my balance. I had lost my focus (which actually is pretty common to be honest...wait, what was I say). I work very hard to keep both in check as I know how I can be when one or the other is out of whack. It had been a long time since both were not in the right place. However, after I realized it - I did nothing about it. I let it continue to spiral.
So, sitting here in St. Paul, I am committing to myself to rediscover my balance, my focus, my whatever they call it. I have two days away to really clear my head (oh, I should probably mention my divorce complaint was filed on Monday but more to come on that later) and put on a brand new pair of pointe shoes and rediscover the balance I have lost. I hope to be tiptoeing my way back into BWI on Saturday night.
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